Last night I was breaking all the rules, making up new ones.
Me, a wild bunch of one, trailing a blaze of glory, saying, yes, tonight, I’m living on a prayer. I was winging it, squaring off with fate, dialling my date with destiny, letting my ego write the cheques, going eye to eye, punch for punch, drink for drink with the ruffian that is life.
And when I was done, there was no need to look back in anger, because when I was done I couldn’t look back at all.
Meet Samuel Grant. He’s trying to work a few things out.
Remember that time when Twitter sounded like an insult, no one had a Facebook page, and Britney Spears still looked innocent in pig tails?
Remember to Breathe is a rom-com trip set to a retro beat, for anyone who’s ever partied like it was 1999. And woken to realise that the last tequila was unwise.
Remember to Breathe invites you to enjoy the highs and lowly lows of Samuel Grant’s life as he ushers in the new century in his own inimitable style. Join Samuel as he feels the rhythm of London’s pulse, and often finds he dances with two left feet.
Do you want to meet Samuel Grant? You might even like him. Here are what we’re lovingly calling our favourite ‘Samuel’s’ – pearls of wisdom on just about any subject:
It was the tequila that did it. Tequila is spiteful, two-faced, sweet as pie when you’re saying hi, paying your monies and throwing ‘em back, but nasty in a metal fangs kind of way when last night’s fun-lovin’ fast-forwards into next day’s buggering regret. I tell you, Tequila is unwise.
It’s like everyone’s occupying their usual temporal plain, and then there’s Me, Outer Limiting, tingling away, a slight flush-on, occupying a dimension just out of synch with everyone else. I wonder, could I walk through people if I tried? Shall I give it a go?
Man, I would so love to introduce the smell of napalm on a Monday. Such a shame I can’t order in the jets, put All These Feckers out of their unrealised misery. Venue: Meeting Room 9, and instead of Agent Orange, just a serious ordering of Brutal Truth: Mondays are one seventh of my life. If it is bollocks on which the world turns, I fear we may have reached a point where perhaps we are all just spinning in the void, riding this one big revolving testicle.
Friday’s “Working Lunch” is at The Avenue on St James’s Street. It’s a bit like eating in an art installation, a White-Out affair that tries for a So-Serious NYC feel, but is occupied by Daddy’s Girls wearing pashmina’s and too many Pin Stripes worn by too many people called Hugo.
There’s a bit of Samuel Grant in all of us – find out how much by taking the Samuel Grant questionnaire now and win your very own copy of the book.
Remember to Breathe is available in paperback and e-book from all the usual places, including Amazon
There are some wonderful 5* reviews of the book available to read here
Simon Pont is a writer, commentator and brand-builder. He is the non-fiction author of The Better Mousetrap and Digital State, both available on www.amazon.co.uk and www.koganpage.com When asked, he has always wanted to say he is a spy. He has never been a spy. He is however married and has three children. Remember to Breathe is his first novel. To say hello, visit www.simonpont.com